Friday, April 28, 2006

Turn-offs: Olive Garden, Suffrage. Turn-ons: Ball gags, Cattle Prods.

Oh, Caitlin Flanagan,bless your pervy little heart.

Some folks are all bent out of shape over you. They think your obnoxious stay-at-home-mom, anti-feminist stance is particularly out-of-touch and hypocritical, seeing as how you're a well-off and well-known writer for the New Yorker who has quite possibly never had to clean a stove. (I say, while the tumor in my lungs that I incurred scrubbing the hideous appliance in our old apartment yesterday slowly grows....)

These people are sooo square. Anyone with a kinky bone in their body can see, watching this video of you on the Colbert Report, that you are into The Scene, hardcore. Watching the way you talk about how "wives" should stay pregnant, naked and in the kitchen, I can just hear how much you wish you were wearing that studded choke collar right now. When you claim to be a "safety first girl," I find myself fantasizing about what you and your husband use as your safeword? Is it "All-Clad"? "Swiffer"? "Au Pair"?

It's challenge enough to live in a 24/7 BDSM relationship... but to go very nearly public with it? That takes the kind of guts only a truly pain-loving bottom has... I applaud you, Caitlin, and hope that your Master rewards you appropriately...

15 Comments:

Blogger k said...

Ahahahahaha! Love it.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Mma Crankypants said...

Hilary-arse!

6:28 AM  
Blogger dumbfun said...

She's not very smart. But her puppet-master is.

10:08 AM  
Blogger effective nancy said...

Aha. So she seems so "clean" because she's really so dirty. I wondered. Thought it was interesting that even satirist Colbert looked incredulous at how caricatured her diatribe played out on his show.

5:39 AM  
Blogger Bells said...

Julie! A copy of your book fell into my lap and since last night, have not stopped reading it (ok, so I am working A BIT) but I keep picking it up. Loving it all but, and this might sound strange, I'm wanting to know more about the baby/PCOS stuff. I don't have PCOS, but I don't have a baby yet (for other reasons). I am engaged with this book ON EVERY LEVEL!

Glad you're still blogging.

Helen

7:41 PM  
Blogger kat said...

You are real! I know that sounds amusing but I'm reading your book and laughing all the way and 'googled' you this morning. I'm bookmarking your page. Another stranger in cyberspace following your life, this time one from South Africa!

3:38 AM  
Blogger M said...

Who advised her on her hair!

10:57 AM  
Blogger Angie Kritenbrink said...

Hi Julie,

I don't really have an opinion about Caitlin Flanagan (although I vaguely remember having quite a bit of disdain for her idiotic piece in the Atlantic Monthly about teenage sex) but I am too lazy to go post on a more appropriate entry.

I just wanted to say, I just finished your book and it was just delightful, mostly because you are totally insane. I am glad to know I am not the only one out there with a calm and patient husband who listens while I freak out for no reason. Good for you, keep it up girl.

Angie

7:54 PM  
Blogger taitauwai said...

Hello Julie!

I bought your book and I have a wonderful time reading it. Today, I finally saved enough money to get myself a copy of Julia Child's MtAoFC. Now, I can read it along with your book. My husband loved your lobsters' stories. Very funny!Just to let you know, I am also pushing 30, no children, stuck in a low-pay job and living in a small aprtment, far far way from civilization. Hmmm... Anyway, now you have two more readers from Malaysia! Keep up the good work.

5:11 AM  
Blogger bocachick said...

Wait!! Is it true???Nora Ephron???Julie, tell us more!!!

11:02 AM  
Blogger Lígia Azevedo said...

Dear Julie,
I work at a brazilian publisher and we have,
unsuccessfuly, been trying to reach you to discuss the possibility of releasing "Julie & Julia" in Brazil. If you should see this post, could you please contact me at ligia@conradeditora.com.br?
I'll be waiting for it

Lígia Azevedo
Conrad Editora

6:10 AM  
Blogger La Torpe said...

Do you mind irrelevant comments? I hope not.
Fuck. This morning I had a foggy idea of the boring summer waiting ahead of me. This morning, I was at my mother's house in North Carolina, "yes, mom"-ing my way to my car so I could begin the mind-numbing drive back to Delaware. I've arrived safely, at least bodily, but instead of resting or pouring a drink or unpacking the car, I'm typing a comment on a blog to a woman I've never met before. What the fuck did you do to me, Julie.
I bought your book on CD in a used bookstore - I bet I'm the first person telling you that - because the paragraph on the box somehow lured me a bit more than that on "The New Testament" or "Learn Business Japanese", and I needed something to pass the time. I started your "book" as soon as I hit the highway. Eight hours later, I was sitting in the driveway waiting to hear the rest. If I had a healthy interest in cooking challenging meals before, you've encouraged it like the mother of the star of a school play on opening night and I feel on the brink of a pivotal obsession. Not with mimicking your idea of taking on new recipes, although I am going to give that a shot, but of trying new small challenges routinely, of flinging my arms open to the vast knowledge I've "yeah, whatever"-ed for years, of undigging yet undiscovered talents, of remembering to be alive and all that comes along with it. Thanks, Julie. I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh yeah, and I've never heard/read/met anyone who mentions going without showering as often as you. Not that it's unnormal, because we all do it, but I just so happen to think that it rocks that you mention it to the worldwide audience you've gathered. And say "fuck" all you want.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Julie Oakley said...

I've just read your book and loved it, though I was vaguely aware of you for some time beforehand because I'd noticed some Interent searches for Julie/Julia that had ended up at my blog. As a fellow Julie I loved your analysis of the difference between the two names. I've always aspired to be a Julia, but my parents were probably spot on calling me Julie.
Anyway you've inspired me to start up my own less fattening year-long adventure, thank you.

3:26 AM  
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