Things I Am Rationally Afraid Of

1. Signing a mortgage during the single worst week possible.

2. Cirrhosis.

3. Looking for love in all the wrong places.

4. Termites.

5. Writing memoirs.

6. Letting my babies grow up to be cowboys.

7. Low-rise jeans

8. My tendency to crave things I find at ABC Carpet & Home

9. Sarah Palin

10. For some unforeseen reason being unable to fully enjoy the glorious experience of Willie tonight at Rockefeller Center (Oh, no, wait. That's categorized under "irrational.")

Things I Am Irrationally Afraid Of:

1) Maggots.

2) Talking on the phone.

3) Meeting with my editor.

4) Biting into my my fifth honeycrisp of the day and eating a worm.

5) Sporting goods stores.

6) Sobriety.

7) Flying.

8) Having some heavy object, like a gargoyle or an airplane part, fall on my head while I'm walking down the street.

9) My non-poisonous snake, which I've had for 16 years.

10) Checking my blog posts for comments.

Clearly, the psychoanalysis has not yet entirely kicked in.