Sunday, January 20, 2008

I'm covering my windows with tin foil, Evil Necromancer Jobs!

I know what you're doing. Don't think I'm not onto you, Stevie.

I woke up this morning clearly under some Blackberry-focused wiccan spell. While trying to retrieve my phone from a high shelf in the bathroom - not exactly sure how it got there in the first place - I stepped onto the bathroom scale and nearly tipped ass-over-tea-kettle into the bathtub. Other uncharacteristically graceless moves have spotted my morning. But while I recognized that I was under some sort of hex, it was not until half an hour ago that I realized, in a moment of stinging clarity, who was casting it.

My Blackberry pearl, just a few months old, a jaunty red thing that has survived theft in Africa, meat schmutz in upstate New York, and endless pants calls and obsessive texting, was quietly charging on a table in the living room. I'd just picked it up to look in on its progress when Eric, in the kitchen, called out excitedly that I should come see the gelatinous substance that had emerged from the mason jar of six-month-old iced tea he was pouring out into the sink. Understandably thrilled, I turned to go to him while setting the Blackberry back down. But instead the cord somehow caught on my sleeve - dark magicks! - and my PDA went flying through the air in a fantastical arc - straight in to Robert the Dog's freshly filled water bowl.

This is something I can't even really by mad about. God has spoken. Or Steve Jobs. Same difference.

Julie, says God-Jobs, You must buy an iPhone.

Who am I to disobey God's will?

13 Comments:

Blogger maine626 said...

I see your point but an IPhone, really??? Are you one of "those"? And I thought you were of something of the different cloth, my dear Julie. tsk tsk. Would you rather be a colorful horse, bright and shiny or just another cow moving along with the herd? Next time buy the insurance to cover your phone should you ever drop in the water bowl. (I'm totally kidding with you....I would get the damn phone too but if I switch to ATT, I would be disconnected with every breath. Do ya hear me now!! NOT!)
Stacy

4:09 PM  
Blogger WendyWings said...

I would say the universe or at the very least Jobs has spoken !
BTW I heard today that Streep ASKED Tucci to be her husband ;)

9:02 PM  
Blogger Carrie said...

Oh yes Julie. Heed the siren call of the iphone. (Hard to understand the other comment that seems to refer to the sleek sexy shiny gorgeous ifamily of products as a herd of cows, but I rarely follow PC users thinking.) I dropped my iphone in the gutter and it just glowed at me, lovingly, a light pulse to its gaze.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Wamsell said...

I am sad that your Blackberry pearl is floating in a sea of doggie water. I have a white one and must admit I am very much in love with it. But an iPhone is an iPhone, if only they were so affordable the real world could have them I would gladly trade in my little Pearl.

11:54 AM  
Blogger tera said...

Julie, I am a first time blogger and am sad to say that i have not yet read your book as i just found it today while searching B&N wedsite. Lucky me, i LOVED the excerpt and ordered your book right then and there. I am currently in the exact same position you were in when you sat down and started eating the potato soup that would lead to your salvation (except im not married and I dont live in NY,but I am a taurus and i am now pushing 30 with no exciting life prospects in sight). I am looking for a little salvation myself and hope your book may convince me that all is not yet lost. My big dream has always been to write a novel but as of now i have no idea how to begin the process. Maybe blogging will be my in to the writing world...Thanks for the inspiration and I cant wait to read Julie/Julia!!!

11:58 AM  
Blogger EB said...

But if you do that won't you just be even deeper in the evil death-grasp of the one whose name you curse?

Erin

12:51 PM  
Blogger dboza said...

Go buy the iphone. You deserve it you earned it. Don't be like me and wait for 2 yrs for the lousy contract to end, before you buy a new one. (of course that may change, since some senator is looking into cell contracts ever since they probably got a look at their kid' s cell phone bill.) I am so happy that I don't have a phone that is size of my shoe(sz.9) anymore and it can take pictures (of my size 9 foot cause I keep screwing up the picture taking mode). Oh, it fits so nicely in my purse so I can never find it when it rings, especially that nice christmas ringtone that I cant figure out how to change. Oh, buy that iphone, you want it, go get it, thats the american way --help re-invigorate the economy--don't save $ that harks back to FDR-- not good---new deal, bad plan.. Heck, Julie our rebates from Geo. & Co. are almost in the mail, wow! soon we all can afford iphones!!!
Do what you want. FYI read The Nine by Jeffrey Toobin, about the Supreme Court, nice and gossipy a little wonky, but I like that. Denise A.

11:58 AM  
Blogger E.B. Whitehead said...

Hi,

I, like many other commenters on this blog, have just read your book and loved it. I actually read it in one day, while taking care of a 3-year old and doing 7 loads of laundry. I even read it while I brushed my teeth.

I was so pleased to be able to finish the book and find you right away on the internet, blogging and sharing stories about your life (world travel!?!) Fantastic.

Thanks for the words!
Lena

5:42 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

My iPhone is 2nd only to my Macbook in the love and utter devotion department. The best and most self-serving part is being able to not only browse your own website on the iPhone, but you can also make an adorable icon and then add it to the main menu. I get giddy every time I turn it on.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Debi said...

I feel I have found my cosmic sister. we both understand the three most important things in life, a great husband, butter, and Buffy. My own sister and I couldn't be more different.
i finished your book in one day, sometimes laughing sometimes crying. I really felt for you when you had to miss the last episode of Buffy, I rearranged several lives to be able to stay home that night and I silenced the phone so I wouldn't be interrupted. Buy yourself whatever phone you want, you deserve it. And no matter what you get it will be obsolete 6 month from now anyway.
Debi

2:14 PM  
Blogger Jenn23 said...

While I have no real opinion on whether or not you should get the Iphone. I have to thank you for your book. I too am an actress at heart and working as a secretarial drone. In fact it was your book that kept me from attempting to pry my eyes out with a staple remover while I was at work (I work for H&R Block and as a glorified answering service there is not much to do except sit. Thus the reading of your life saving book). I just really wanted to say thanks for keeping my eyes in place for a week! I could not put the book down! Thanks for enduring the project and then sharing it with the world! :)
Jenn

2:12 PM  
Blogger Marianna said...

...But, Julie, what about your manuscript(last post)???... were you able to retireve it? I'm going to worry until I know!... Marianna

8:23 AM  
Blogger BittenChick said...

iPhones are exceedingly excellent at capturing various stages of male nakedness ... You know ... If you're into that sort of thing. ;-)

PS - Please add me to the resounding "I loved your book" chorus! You rock my socks.

10:34 PM  

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