Tales From the Red Carpet

Well, it's done. The premiere has come and gone, and my stint in LaLaLand is nearly done. It's been a fun ride, and I'm going to miss those priority tags on my luggage and the hotel rooms with grand pianos in them, but it's probably best for me to go back to Queens and be normal again for awhile. Well, not normal, but you know what I mean.

Here I am at the red carpet. Could be a whole lot worse - I have to thank the loads of people who spent multiple hours making me look presentable.

The red carpet is, as it turns out, a rather violent and scary place. The premiere itself was a little excruciating - I've seen the movie six times now, and the cringing still hasn't stopped. The after party was, however, suitably glamorous. I talked with Amy A., who looked gorgeous, was very composed, and sipped champagne out of a little funnel thingy to keep from spilling on her amazing dress. I talked with Chris M., who was effusive and suspiciously loopy and hanging out with Sam Rockwell. I talked with Stanley T. and Meryl S., who were extraordinarily gracious considering the THOUSANDS of people who wanted a piece of their time. I talked to Nora E., who was extraordinarily kind and looked fantastic. But I also hung out with Mark Ricker, J&J production designer, who's amazing, and Amy Robinson and Eric Steel, who are producers on the film and dear friends. I didn't hang out nearly enough with my dear family and friends who came with me, but I believe they had a good time anyway. Oh, AND!!!! I now have the phone number of Danny Strong, AKA Jonathan from Buffy. That was a highlight. And I talked to Alex Prud'homme, who, shockingly, doesn't seem to hate me. I did NOT talk to Zadie Smith, though my husband did, and didn't introduce me.

My posse and I ended the night by closing down a nearby bar. And this morning I'm in my sweats eating bacon and jalapeno pizza from Domino's, a very happy camper indeed.

In Dallas...

...eating brisket tacos.

That is all.

(Actually, no, it's not at all, they have me running about like a hamster on a wheel, and I look like either a zombie or someone who's been punched in both eyes, but for this moment, this taco is the center of my world.)

Countdown to Surreality, Part 62

The most amusing thing about this room I have at the Ritz-Carlton is:

I'm not even sleeping in it! I got here at 10 AM and am leaving at 5 this afternoon. Most of the time I'll be downstairs in a conference call doing interviews. I don't even have time to try to smash the grand piano to smithereens or toss a Queen Anne chair out the window!

I am, however, going to sit in the tub watching the big-screen TV mounted over it on my lunch break. Which is now.

Tonight - well, early early early tomorrow morning, technically - I arrive in Dallas.

I WILL cut you

So this happened a couple of weeks ago. But I thought you should know that I boned an entire pork leg, using just THIS.

Very impressive, no? Perhaps this is the visual mantra I will use whilst walking down the red carpet tonight.

The Rehearsal Dinner of Movie Premieres

So tonight's the night! Well, a night, anyway. The L.A. "special screening" - Don't call it a premiere!!! - of Julie & Julia: The Movie! I'll not lie. I'm a little nervous. I might have to take a pill. Maybe just half of one. But I've got the cutest little dress and extensions like Ashlee Simpsin and the glitteriest shoes, that actually fit, even though I just got them fedexed to me and tried them on for the first time today, because the sun always shines on TV, and this is me possibly losing grasp of sanity, but probably just being a little over-excited.

Yeah. Maybe half a pill.

Swimming Pools and Movie Stars

Headed out in a few hours for Los Angeles, there to see some old friends, get a little business done, and - oh, yeah - go to the LA premiereOops"Special Screening" of Julie & Julia. I last night had a vivid anxiety dream that went into great detail about the technical vagaries of setting up a video interview with me and Chris Messina, all while I couldn't find a way to get my dress pressed. It's possible I'm a tad nervous.

Sleepless In Seattle - Tired, but True

So I was in bed at the crack of midnight last night... and up at 6. Irrevocably. Even though I have nothing to do today. It's ridiculous. I'm not going to be able to make it through the next week on six hours a night (and on some nights, I won't even have the option of six hours, my own bodily tempos notwithstanding) I have to sleep today. I'm going to throw my entire arsenal at it, pharmaceutical, alcoholic and literary, but I fear it just might not be enough. Maybe I need someone to come by and sap me or something. Get a little Raymond Chandler/Big Lebowski dream sequence going on.

Hen Parties are the Best Parties

So I've had two of these so far on this tour: gatherings with women, most a bit older than me, combined with lots of food and a fair amount of booze (Gimlets, usually.) Much talk. Much laughing. These are among my favorite things in life. If I can keep living my life doing this I shall be very happy.

Hello Seattle!

So, last time I was in Seattle, I wasn't entirely convinced, but I think now I can say I'm a fan. Not that I've eaten a thing or really seen much of anything outside my hotel room, yet. But everyone has been great and down to earth and casual, and the make-up artist had an extra-light touch, and soon I'm going to be fed a fabulous lunch. AND tomorrow I get a whole day off here, which is great. I need to find a cheap place to go get my nails done. And my arms waxed (HELLLLLOOO, Miss TMI! We've MISSED YOU!!!)

Someone somewhere has gotten a mistaken idea about me.

I found this, along with a complimentary bottle of wine, last night when I arrived at my CORNER SUITE at the Four Seasons last night. Very nice, but so unnecessary as to seem a little creepy. Like I'm going to find out I'm in "The Prisoner" or something.

I did drink the wine though.

Also - yesterday morning, early, I got my hair and face done because I was going on to a local TV morning show in Detroit. I was all made up before I realized I hadn't had my vital morning Diet Pepsi. I sort of sighed aloud that I keep forgetting to bring straws so I can drink my soda without screwing up the stylist's lovingly applied lipstick.

When I arrived at Borders for my Q&A that evening in Chicago, there were eight straws of differing types on the table in the green room. Apparently the poor employees had been getting calls all day telling them that Julie Powell MUST have straws, and worrying that they didn't have the right kind, like maybe I'd throw a fit if I didn't have bendy straws.

This, my friends, is how diva-dom is born. Never fear though, I will resist the siren call of personalized water and readily available straws. Will have to, since after August 7 it's back to plain old Julie Land. Which is good enough for me.

... And On We Soldier....

I would love to give those of you who might be interested the rundown of my schedule for the next week - unfortunately I do not know what it is. However, I basically know the rate and direction at which I'm moving through space. So, this is what I know:

Tonight, I'm in Chicago, doing a Q&A at the Borders in Oak Brook, on 16th Street, from 7 to 8.

Tomorrow, I wind up in Seattle at some point. I'll be there through Sunday morning. No idea what I'm doing there, but you'll know as soon as I do.

Fly into LA Sunday for the LA special screening the next day. Again, no clue how that day will progress, but if public appearances are involved I will let you know.

Monday in San Francisco, where I'll be doing something.

I seem to have lost a day somewhere, but Wednesday I'm in Dallas, and there events will be happening, not sure how public.

Then back, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, on the morning of the 30th, just in time to slam my ass into a salon chair and get myself all prettied up for the premiere.

This dears, is all I know at present. More to come....

Highs and Lows in Motown

Starting low - waking up at 5 AM.

High - business class. Whoo-hoo!

Low - too early for booze. Even for me.

Arrival in Detroit. This is neither a high nor a low, simply a statement of fact.

High - Had an AMAZING session of eating, gabbing and drinking (it was noon by this point, not that I have to justify my drinking habits to you) with some of the most effusive, entertaining and incisive women I've ever been introduced to all at once in front of multiple cameras. I can't tell you how fascinating I found our conversation, and yes, by the end I was a bit tipsy. Which made it all the more fun. Thanks, ladies! (I will post the resulting Borders vids as soon as they're up.... even if I come off like a moron.)

Low - conversation about a reporter writing a story about people who hate me. Ah well.

High - Mm. Midday nap in quiet hotel room. Also, complimentary wine waiting!

Expected High - Q&A at the Birmingham Borders store tonight from 7 to 8. Please to come!

Surreal is the New Normal

So, I spent eight hours yesterday, first in a butcher shop and then in an overgrown field, getting my picture taken with big knives, a bull dog, and a pig leg.  And now this is what my refrigerator looks like:

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO BE BETTER!

Okay, so we're in the home stretch to the J&J: The Movie! release. (August 7th.  Tell your friends.)  And I'm going to be here more often, I swear.  If I don't respond to all comments, it's simply because I'm going slightly insane at the moment, but I much appreciate them - even those from people who think I shouldn't take potshots at Republicans....

Now, this is a bit old news, but a couple of weeks ago I was awarded an honorary degree from the Cordon Bleu School in Paris.  This is of course patently absurd, since I in no way can cook like a Cordon Bleu graduate, but I was truly honored, and had a fantastic, if slightly manic visit in Paris.  You can see a few pictures here.

I was also last week at a "blogger event" last week in LA, at which I had a ton of fun and met some fabulous bloggers.  Another coming up tomorrow here in New York, perhaps this time I'll even get pictures.

Off to do the audiobook recording for the next book.  Yar.